She is Not Dead - by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Another friend sent this piece to me today, and it is indeed beautiful. Written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, it is titled "She is Not Dead"

"She is not dead, - the child of our affection,
But gone unto that school
Where she no longer needs our poor protection,
And Christ Himself doth rule.

In that great cloister's stillness and seclusion,
By guardian angels led,
Safe from temptation, safe from sin's pollution,
She lives, whom we call dead.

Day after day we think what she is doing
In those bright realms of air;
Year after year, her tender steps pursuing,
Behold her grown more fair.

Thus do we walk with her, and keep unbroken
The bond which nature gives,
Thinking that our remembrance, through unspoken,
May reach her where she lives."

A Message from a Friend, as we mourn Joyce's death

I received this message from a friend today. The quote is from the famous German Lutheran theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Since my Joyce came partly from German Lutheran stock, I thought it quite fitting at this time. I quote:

"... nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he doesn't fill it, but on the contrary, he keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain." From "On separation from those we love."

Slideshow from Memorial

Here is the slideshow from the memorial in case you missed it. Thank you to all of our friends and family for sharing your memories of Joyce on Wednesday.

Service and Memorial

We will have a service for my Mom on Wedensday at 5pm at St. Thomas Church in Medina. Following the service, please join us for a reception to celebrate her life at Newcastle Golf Club in Bellevue.

Eulogy from Dad

My Dad wanted me to post this, along with a photo of our flag at half staff in her honor.

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Our beloved Joyce Schroeder Birkeland passed away quietly at the family home in Kirkland July 25, 2009. She died of complications from a return of breast cancer. She was 64 years old.

Joyce was the eldest child of the late Leonard Schroeder and Opal Schroeder and was born and raised in Houston, Texas. She attended schools there, and after being graduated from high school, met and married Frederick Peter Kalb. Peter and Joyce moved several times around the country, following his educational and vocational requirements, eventually settling in Seattle. They had two wonderful daughters, Gretchen Margaret Kalb and Heather Marie Kalb. Twelve years into their marriage their life paths parted and they divorced.

In 1978 Joyce married Paul Berton Birkeland and moved with him to Kirkland, where they added two more wonderful children - daughter Steffenie Elizabeth Birkeland and son Paul Leonard Birkeland. They raised their family there, and in addition Joyce was an active partner in the family real estate development and management business, Birkeland and Associates. She also established Birkeland Design, which was an interior design consulting firm, working on real estate rehabilitation projects. In her spare time, she became an accomplished porcelain doll artist and won numerous local and national prizes for her dolls. In addition, she was an extremely accomplished chef, hostess and generous benefactor of numerous charities, and was beloved by all she came into contact with. She enjoyed her family, travel, gourmet dinners at home and at favorite restaurants, great wines and vintners, reading, live theater (32 year attendee at Oregon Shakespeare Festival) and was looking forward to a life of retirement with Paul in their new home in Las Vegas.

She leaves behind her husband Paul, children Gretchen Moran and husband Mark of Marble Falls, Texas, daughter Heather Kalb of Seattle, daughter Steffenie Birkeland Evans and husband Fletcher of Seattle, and son Paul (Birk) of Kirkland, as well as sister Gloria Williams and husband Mike of Hayden Lake, Idaho and brother Darryl Schroeder and wife Lori of Houston, as well as a number of aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. Her Mother, Opal Schroeder of Houston, Texas also survives her. Aunt Jean Banker and husband Dr CA Banker of Chappell Hill, Texas and cousin Star Asimakoupoulos were very close to her . A memorial will be held at St Thomas Episcopal Church, 8398 NE 12th St., Medina, WA at 5 pm, July 29, 2009 followed by a reception at Newcastle Golf Club. Memorials may be made to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Fund (www.komenpugetsound.org), St Thomas Church (www.stthomasmedina.org), Oregon Shakespeare Festival (petert@osfashland.org) or PONCHO (www.poncho.org)

Joyce enriched the lives of all she came into contact with, and left the world a better place. She had a heart of gold, took pains to be there for everyone, and was a warm and loving friend and hostess to many. We honor her memory and are grateful to all who so graciously helped us during her long struggle with breast cancer. In your own way you are carrying on with her mission - God Bless all of you.

Joyce Schroeder Birkeland, 1944-2009

Our dear mother and wife passed away this morning at 4:23am, losing her valiant fight against breast cancer at home, surrounded by her family.

Update

My Mom continues to rest comfortably in her bedroom. She is no longer concious due to the amount of medication we are giving her, but is not in pain, and we are so grateful for that. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Joyce Update July 20, 2009

Joyce returned home this evening after spending 2 1/2 days in the Critical Care Unit at Overlake Hospital. The breast cancer has spread and is causing periodic atrial fibrillation (irregular heart problems) plus there is some possible compression of her wind pipe and esophagus due to the cancer, plus she has a new cancerous breast nodule, plus they are removing 500 cc of fluid from her lung sacks every day, which consists partially of decomposed body tissue, plus she has some blood clot issues. If that isn't enough, she has pneumonia. She is back at home, but very, very ill and basically taking pain medications and not much else at this time. Our Priest Steve Best gave us all the eucharist at the hospital today, and Hospice workers arrive tomorrow morning.

We are grateful for all the medical workers who have worked so hard to bring life back to her, but I fear that is not to be. And to all of you wonderful friends, who have followed her difficult struggle, and who have shared with prayers, cards, letters, e mails, flowers and books - you are the greatest. Stay tuned for a further update in the near future.

Update

My Mom was admitted to the ER last night due to some pulmonary fibrillation (erratic heartbeats, as I understand it) which has happened a few times in the past 6 weeks. While in the hospital today, the doctors have discovered that she has pneumonia. This is obviously not good and will be incredibly difficult for my Mom to fight off.

Please continue to keep my Mom in your prayers.

Joyce Birkeland Update, July 13, 2009

Here is the latest. This picture was taken today, July 13, while Joyce was at Overlake Hospital receiving her weekly dose of chemo, doing labs, and conferencing with her oncologist, and Joyce is doing much better. She is eating more, taking vitamins, in better spirits, talking and laughing, and generally in a good mood. Her pain seems to be pretty well under control, as do her non breast cancer health issues. She is on two chemo drugs which seem to be having a positive impact on the breast cancer too, but weight loss and lung evacuations of liquid remain concerns. Last weekend we went for a drive to visit with a friend and also went out to lunch at a Mexican restaurant, but she overdid it and the spicy food was a bit too much. Coming up we will continue with chemo, daily evacuations of her lungs (that situation also is somewhat improved), some wheelchair trips in the neighborhood, and brief visits at the house with neighbors and friends. Every week she also has the eucharist brought to the house by a friend, which is a highlight of her week. The children have been fantastic and very helpful, and daugther Gretchen visited from Texas and got Joyce all dolled up for the photo which was a special treat for all of us, especially Joyce herself. Thanks again for all your kind thoughts, prayers, cards, letters, calls and visits. You are the greatest.

Update and Visit Scheduling

Sorry for the radio silence on the blog recently. There hasn't been a whole lot of news to share with you all. My Mom is continuing to undergo chemo weekly and fight this cancer. She is having her lungs evacuated daily now, which makes her feel better but also drains her of much of the protein and calories she manages to eat.

She loves visitors, however this too can really exhaust her. It would be really wonderful if anyone planning to visit could give us a call prior to your visit and see if she's up for company. If she is, please try to keep your visits to under 30 minutes. My Mom is a true lady and would never ask anyone to leave, so I hope you will all understand and keep your visits short. That said, please don't shy away from visiting. I know she loves to see her family and friends!

As my husband heads out on a 10-day hiking trip with his family, I am looking forward to some more girl time with my Mom. Hopefully it won't result in another runaway wheelchair!

Birkeland Famly Photo, April 27, 2009

An update. This photo was taken April 27 just one day before successful brain surgery for Joyce. Since that time she has come a long way, and basically the brain cancer situation is under control, the blood clots in the leg are under control, the shingles have gone away, the heart related problems have subsided, and now we are dealing with breast cancer issues plus her lungs continue to fill with liquids, which are being evacuated three times per week, and which problem is related to the breast cancer itself. We are cautiously optimistic that she is getting better every day. She is now enjoying some wheelchair rides around the neighborhood, seeing some visitors, talking on the phone, and joking with family and friends - all good signs indeed. Thanks to everyone for your prayers, calls, cards, flowers, food and visits. We are grateful for all you have done. You are the greatest.

Girls Weekend

While my Dad was taking care of some business in Las Vegas, I was fortunate to have a few days with my Mom which we dubbed "Girls weekend." We had a great time - Sophie the terrier came over too and kept my Mom company during the day when I was at work.

On Thursday we took a walk down the street and managed to see 2 bald eagles perched in a tree. I learned about the critical importance of brakes on a wheelchair; while examining a for-sale flyer, my mother started rolling down the street and I had to chase after her to avoid a crash. It was pretty humorous and we both had a good laugh.

I would like to again thank all of you who have brought food over to our house. My Mom and I ate delicious Bobby Flay pork, spicy enchiladas and delicious soups on our girls weekend - we are truly lucky to have friends that are so generous and great in the kitchen!

Update on Joyce, June 24, 2009

Joyce continues to do pretty well. Her pain has gone down, she is sleeping and eating much better, and has enjoyed a few visits from friends (please call first). Her build up of fluid in the lungs seems to be moderating as well, and she has had no recent heart troubles.

Tuesdays she has chemo, and Heather has assisted her with hair and make up on Tuesdays, and Joyce looks mighty fine as we head off for Overlake Hospital. What a beautiful lady! So keep those prayers rolling, she is on the improve and we are grateful. I am in Vegas on business, and as I write this, it is 106 degrees, and we are having thunder showers! Wow! Didn't need to go to Vegas for rain!

Steff and Fletcher and Birk are with Joyce at the house while I am gone, together with care givers, so she is well taken care of. I return to Kirkland Saturday June 27. All the best!!!

A blog from Joyce

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of my friends. I am feeling really good today. I am still blown away by the turnout for the walk, and how beautiful the t-shirts were. You guys are just too much... too many flowers, too much food and too much gracious hospitality. You're wonderful. And now I have to stop doing this because its making me cry. (Fletcher and Sophie say to keep the food coming). After the stress of my first blog, I will never do this again. I'm only kidding!

Joyce was serenaded by Marilyn Pedersen and Charles Rus of our church at the house yesterday - what a treat. They played a variety of religious and classical tunes - the Ave Maria was just stunning, as was A Mighty Fortress. We discovered Marilyn, Joyce and I all had Lutheran roots as a result of hearing that piece, written by Martin Luther himself. This morning we received news that her brain MRI went very well yesterday, with no action required by the brain surgeon. She is doing a bit better every day, is smiling and laughing at my bad jokes, and in pretty good spirits. Thanks to everyone for all your support - you are the greatest!

Having trouble blogging?

My Dad mentioned that some of you are having trouble with the blog... I'm so sorry!

Here are a few common questions that we've received along with my attempts at answering them. If you have any additional questions, please feel free to email me at steffenie@gmail.com.

Difficulty "Following" the blog

If you do not currently have a Yahoo or Gmail account, simply follow these steps:

1) Click "Follow Blog" on the main page

2) Click on the "Don't have any of these? Create a new Google account" link.

I know most people don't want to have to keep track of yet another email account, but this account will automatically forward to your normal email account.

3) This link will take you to a screen where you enter your current email address (for example, janesmith@aol.com) and create a new password.

4) Next create a blog "name" for yourself (what we will all see at the end of your comments).

5) Finally, (hang in there!) is to check your regular email account and activate your account. This process will allow you to follow the blog and receive updates to your original email account whenever anyone posts to this blog.

Really don't want to create a new account?

Simply add http://www.joycebirkeland.blogspot.com/ to your "Favorites" and check back every few days.

Want to know how to create a "post"?
1) If you have an account set up (see first question), make sure you're logged in before you post. To do this, click the light blue "sign in" at the top right corner of the blog.
2) If you don't have an account, simply click on the title of the comment you'd like to respond to (for example, if you wanted to congratulate me on how much this post has helped you out, you would click on the "Having trouble blogging?" title.
3) Type your comments into the white box and click "post".

I hope this helps - please let me know if there are any other issues you're running into. We want this blog to be easily accessible!

Joyce Update, June 16, 2009

Just returned from Joyce's weekly chemo session. She is doing a bit better, sleeping better, and in less pain. They added carboplatin to the navelbine she has been taking. Pain meds have increased and she is pretty well stabilized pain wize, but an anti anxiety drug lorazepam has caused some confusion and we will limit that one. I kidded her that I needed one too! Heart functions remain pretty normal, BP is in normal range, oxygen percentages remain in normal ranges. She has getting up and having dinner with us most days and is doing pretty well. Tomorrow we go in for a brain MRI as there is concern the breast cancers spin off brain cancers and they want to check on that every 30 days or so. I will have more about that later in the week. Again thanks so much for all your kind e mails, thoughts, prayers, jokes and food. The prayers for her regaining her health are bearing some fruit as she is definitely on the improve.

Joyce, Blogs and Twinkles

I got the chance to show my Mom this blog last night and I think she really loved it. When I first mentioned the blog to her a few days ago, she remarked "you finally got me emailing and now you want me to blog and twinkle?" (I think she meant twitter). With all that has happened, she definitely still has her wit and sarcasm! Despite this, she has promised that she'll write a blog entry soon, so stay tuned.

Joyce Update, June 9, 2009

Joyce is resting comfortably. She had a chemo session today, and it went very well, followed by a nice lunch at Overlake Hospital. Her pain killer patch, which is morphine based, was doubled in strength yesterday, which has given her substantial pain relief. We have an RN who comes in twice a week to evacuate the fluid build up in her lungs, and that is going well. She also now has a hospital bed in our home, with a wonderful pillow type liner, and loves it. We are in the process of hiring 24/7 medical assistants to be with her at the house around the clock, and hope to complete that hiring process very shortly. So, she is now doing a bit better and is smiling and giving me the dickins from time to time, so that is also a good sign. Next week she will have more chemo and another brain scan to determine if any more brain tumors have cropped up. Let's hope not. Thanks to everyone for your prayers, cards, letters, e mails, flowers and food. She is a bit weak to handle visitors at this time, but enjoys all the messages of support. You are the greatest!

Over 60 friends of Joyce gathered together today to march in the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer walk in Seattle. It was very, very special, and we had a great time. Our pink shirts all had the logo on them "Re Joyce" in her honor. A total of 20,000 people participated in the walk.

Race for the Cure

Thank you to all of our family and friends who made it out to support my Mom and fight breast cancer. We had a strong group of 60+ wearing lovely t-shirts (thanks Shannon!) and it was wonderful to have so many people supporting our family.

Stay tuned for some more pics - I know my Dad got a great one of the whole group.

Here is a wonderful picture of Joyce taken at the Ste Michelle Auction in August, 2008.

Joyce News, June 3, 2009

Hey from Paul, my very first Blog: Joyce will be home from the hospital tomorrow, as we celebrate Gretchen and Mark's birthdays, and also welcome Joyce's sister Gloria and her daughter Jessica to visit. Should be fun.

Joyce Update - June 3rd

Per an email from my Dad, earlier today:

My Joyce Bee is currently in Overlake Hospital, recovering from a bout of atrial fibrillation this past Sunday. Her heart is not doing well under the stress of breast cancer (which seems to be in remission) brain cancer (one cancer surgically removed, five brain cancers zapped with gamma knife radiation) lungs filling with about one liter of liquid per lung per week, some high blood pressure issues (218 over 110 last Sunday night got her a trip to the Emergency Room) and shingles, which has been resolved without too much pain. All in all she is quite a trooper, but will not be able to join us for the Race on Sunday, sadly.

We remain hopeful that she might be able to join us for brunch after the walk, but of course that is dependent on how well she feels on Sunday.

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

We've got a big group lined up to walk in honor of my Mom, this Sunday at 8:30am at Qwest Field. If you'd like to join our team, sign up for Team "Re-Joyce" online: www.komenpugetsound.org and let my Dad know so he can get you a customized shirt before the race.

For those participating, we'll be meeting 50 feet east of the registration for the race around 8am. Look for my Dad in a hot pink shirt :)

First Post

Hello to all of our friends and family! We know that many of you may be interested in following Joyce's progress as she fights cancer, and we will work to keep this blog updated as often as possible. You may select to receive automatic updates when we post new information under your settings.